Originally Posted by
cockerpunk
i've spent a considerable amount of time figuring out why there are very few married older men i truly understand. its a common thread in my life ive tried to tackle a few times. and this really hits home that its actually a fundamental difference in how we see the purpose of human life. in my 20s, how i live my life was expected, and cheered on by these guys. i was roudy, fast cars and faster womening my life, and it was great, and it was expected. but it always came with a "these days are short lived, your gonna end up married with a couple of nuggets in no time, enjoy it while you can." i saw the twinkle in there eye, remember there long lost days of youth, fondly. and i planned to enjoy those years, and i did, and i plan to enjoy the rest of my life too. there is no inevitability to this life. you can choose how you want to live it, at any point, in any way. i have person hood, if i don't want to marry someone, i don't. i know i don't want to have kids, so i wont. these are totally 100% in my control. if i do get married, which i'd like too, it will to who I'm excited about marrying, with no second thoughts, no doubts, it will be exactly what i want. and i can choose that. i have the power to choose that. this all seems to disagree on this fundamental level with what many married men i talk to seem to think about how life goes. and that is why, at its core, i don't understand the motivations of these humans. and they can't seem to grasp mine. there is a disconnect, about the purpose of life, a disconnect about the meaning of life, and a disconnect about agency, desire, and the actions of living life.