Candidly, I think the practice of poly drives me towards relationship nihilism. And I say that being generally more supportive of the concept of open, honest relationships than most Americans.
Edit: I'm not sure relationship nihilism is a term that has clear meaning. So in this case I'm using it to mean that I find a sense of despair going down the slope to where relationships no longer have meaning or value from norms. You might individually create your own value and renegotiate it, but as you said, your poly is not anyone else's poly. I find the idea that we should abandon relationship norms on the path to better relationships to be... well, a weighty sadness.